I’m caressing this knife with a foul smile,
And feeling its edge like I’m cliffside.
“Heavenly Father, the drop is a plummet.”
I’m climbing this tree with a youthful whimsy,
And getting tangled in the branches again.
“Mother Mary, the drop is a plummet.”
…
I’m reprogramming my brain because pain isn’t always a bad thing.
Pain is a stimulus, a mere sensation~
My religion is where I feel the pain
And all the pangs of guilt
That come with living for life instead of death.
Free my hand from this blade and let fate do its worst.
I am accepting and committing
To every anxiety, to every fear-
To every version of myself that doth appear-
I am letting go of church on Sundays,
And drinking a delicious Merlot,
Cheersing the hours I once sat in a pew
And stabbed myself with a blade.